Whether you’re good at it or not, I think when most people say they’re bad what they really mean is they dislike doing it. And why shouldn’t you? I have some good friends I’ve met networking, but there can be a certain air of phony baloney to Hollywood networking ("let's do drinks!"). Like speed dating, it can feel weird to have to "turn on" your personality. Also, I think there are certain types of bad networkers who make the experience extra uncomfortable. So, to help you on your quest to be better networkers here are some of my least favorite networking types. Try not to be these people while networking, okay?
My New BFF
Without a doubt I meet this person at every industry mixer I go to, and without a doubt, they are always full of it. For example, two minutes after meeting if I mention that I’m loving Friday Night Lights my new BFF will say they ALSO love Friday Night Lights (maybe true), and that we should TOTALLY have a watching marathon at their place (never gonna happen) then ask for my name (which they already forgot) so they can “facebook me” and set that up. Don’t do this, please. We just met. You might not even like me…I’m pretty sure you don’t. Then, when we meet again at some point you’re gonna have to say something dumb like: “Oh man, I’ve been so busy, we’ve gotta have that TV marathon…uh…what was your name again? Sorry I’m terrible with names!”
The Kiss Ass
Most people will say “I hate brown-nosers,” but let’s face it, everyone loves to be complimented, and we enjoy it so much that we don’t always realize when someone is doing it in a way that’s insincere (it’s always easier to spot when it’s happening to someone else, right?). I think the kiss ass is most obvious when you meet them and they’re a sour stick in the mud, but when you mention something that they latch onto (like you have a job they want to have) they suddenly become another person. Or, they are super social and flutter around the room like hummingbirds looking for that sweet sweet nectar that they like (which is anything they think can help them personally) and if you've got what they want, they will ditch the person they were just enthusiastically chatting with to start talking to YOU…and worst of all, they will be so darn flattering you might not even care what a kiss ass they are.
The Bragger (AKA The One Upper AKA The Name Dropper)
This person is tough because they can often hide under the guise of having a “big “ or “fun” personality. They’re just so darn excited, they can’t help but talk about themselves and all the amazing things they’ve done and the people they know! It’s like they’re on a non-stop sales pitch and the product is THEM. You’re a writer? So are they! They just finished 5 screenplays one of which was a semi-finalist for the Nicholl. You went to film school? They went to film school too! Perhaps you’ve heard of their Oscar nominated student film? You’re from New Jersey? No way! They once lived in the Himalayas where they not only discovered an injured yeti, but also nursed it back to health. It’s great (and important) to list and be proud of your accomplishments while networking, but it's no fun being around someone who seems to think the universe revolves around them. Pepper in how great you are, otherwise it sounds like you’re putting other people down or that you don’t give a shit about anyone but yourself. You might not, but don’t make it so obvious, okay?
Wow, I think I could write a whole blog on bad networking types, but I’ll spare the preaching and limit myself to one more entry for now…stay tuned for tomorrow's post when I'll talk about some more bad networking types, including the one bad type I constantly fall into...
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